Dating a married man whose wife has dementia


Unusual because everyone is so young and because the situation is unique but yet it seems to work for us. I knew right away about the situation and he has always been upfront, truthful and he answers any questions that I ask. We have a very open, honest relationship. I will always look after him and make sure he has good care but I will have a life after this. Dating a married man whose wife has dementia [PUNIQRANDLINE-(au-dating-names.txt)

I hope this new friendship brings you happiness and that this man can assist you as a partner and friend while you continue to love and care for your husband. The Alzheimer's Association is a helpful resource, offering message boards, a "caregiver center" and a hour help line: alz. Dear Amy: My significant other was talked into getting a cell phone by her adult children.

Can wife date when spouse has Alzheimer's?

We do not live together, but I do spend most evenings with her and I spend the night on the weekends. Every evening between 6 and 7 a particular daughter feels the need to call, and I end up sitting at the kitchen table eating supper by myself.


I can expect calls on the weekend at dating a married man whose wife has dementia 2 in the morning from one of her intoxicated kids requesting a ride. I told her these calls were disrespectful to me and unless they were of an emergency nature they could be taken after I left. She initially agreed but now she's back to taking the calls.

If there is no such group, maybe you could create one, as Joan did here for us. I wish you luck and happiness. Write the book Good luck with your realtionship I think it would be helpful if you joined an Alzheimer's Support Group in your area where your concerns can be discussed rather than on this forum which is for the spouses of Alz victims. There is a gentleman in our group who is reunited with a lady, sad to say, that has Alz. It is an interesting situation in which he and his wife, who is now deceased, and this lady and her husband ,who is now deceased, and their kids were once upon a happier time all friends This gent helps her son and his son helps too, taking care of this lady.

The widower will cook and stay at night in the home with her, there are hired caregivers in the day and the boys all look in and her help too.

5 rules to dating a married man

That is a rare situation. As said earlier, the topic of the caregiver spouse wondering about seeing someone outside of single thai ladies in england caregiving work when our LO no longer knows us causes some to have to really dig deep in soul searching.

The conflicts we have are potentially hurting our spouse in some way. We don't know what they do think, but we do know we can run into some horrific responses depending upon what kind of mood their mind might be in at any given moment. Alzhimer's is a very unpredictable disease. While it may be admirable that you feel you are helping in some way, the fact that you have some concerns about others being hurt by your presence suggests some unrest within your own mind.

I don't mean to be unkind but I agree that you should consider some distance from this family. Why hasn't anyone written a book about YOUR experience?

None of US would be qualified because we are in the throws of this disease, we are the ones making all the decisions, finding ways to pay for help, wondering how we are going to make it when dating a married man whose wife has dementia is all over.

So asking your question on these boards really is addressing the wrong group with this question. I really think you might find more input from an Alzheimer's Group where caregivers are not always the spouse, though from our group it is mostly the spouse.

Nikki, I sure do hope you polish your halo and dust off your angel wings once in a while. I love you, girlie, and you are just too good for me. Amicrazy, if you want to know what the kids think Also, you are where you are by choice. I personally would have rather been able to choose to care for my dear departed darling than to leave a doctor's office with a death sentence hanging over my head and not know how long it was going to take.

My husband passed away February of this year. He knew who I was up to the last 5 days of his life. He had moments of clarity even then. During our relationship, I never loved anyone but him and I don't love anyone but him right now.


Enough said. Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand across my mouth The road less traveled. I guess it the situation is rather unusual, from that standpoint someone may write a book about this type of situation. Dating a married man whose wife has dementia do not think anyone would put themself into this situation willing, you have just proven me wrong.

I would say if the family does not want you involved then you should honor the request and be a friend from a far. Having been in his shoes I did not get much support from family so I was looking for what ever help I could get to cope with what life had dealt me. He is in a very difficult situation and support is what he needs, but the cost of the support you are offering may be at a high cost to his family situation.

If his family is not helping him, I would not care what they thought if you are his only support. I'm not sure if I remember the stats correctly, but I think there are about 5 million in the U. The EOAD piece would be about 5 or 10 percent of that. Unless someone with a younger-onset dementia is dx in their dating sites windsor or 50's, they probably don't have children living at home.


If they do, in addition to the responsibility of the children and taking care of the person with dementia, the caregiving spouse is probably still in the workforce. It's logistics--I don't think most people in that position have the time or energy left to be in a new relationship.

Even with no children and being retired, there was no way I could think about dating while my husband was living at home. I think Mimi's suggestion about attending a support group would be beneficial.

I actually see how your presence could be a plus to all concerned if it is handled sensitively. Based on your post you sound like you feel this man is worth it, even with his complicated family situation. Good luck. Amicrazy--my best advice is to get an honest assessment from your man as to HIS feelings about being in a relationship right now, and gauge the appropriateness following his lead.

Dating Someone Whose Spouse Has Dementia

It's hard for you to make that call. As for his relationship with his children, etc I'm speaking from my point of view as a spouse of a husband in late-stage Alzheimer's, and I have another man in my life. I decided, recently, to be up-front about this because the decision came after years of caregiving and much consideration of the needs of all parties involved. I know I am not alone as a spouse in this situation, and I think it SHOULD be open for discussion so pretending it is not true by omission seems silly to me.


I will say that opinions WILL run gamut among members of this forum What has mattered the most to me is the opinions of our children, my husband's family, our friends and community AS WELL AS a honest, thorough, holistic look at what is best for me as an organism, and whether I can truly meet my husband's needs under these circumstances.

That is why I believe you have to feel your way based on his assessment. You need to be aware that care for his spouse is paramount and he very likely will have to intervene in emergency situations, attend to her frequently, and remain somewhat divided in his attentions for now. I am concerned that you're worried you might hurt his relationship with his children. That says to me don't know if I'm right that maybe he doesn't have their approval, and this certainly would complicate any relationship.

But that is really his issue to iron out, and how your relationship proceeds is going to be affected by his open communication with his children and whether they are of an understanding frame of mind, or whether this is something they're having trouble dealing with. Having the questions you have is natural, and doesn't necessarily point to the relationship being a dating a married man whose wife has dementia choice.

Are free italian dating enhancing his life and well-being without bringing pain to anyone else? He's going to have to help answer that. The book and information you seek is "Jan's Story".

In the Alzheimer's world this is not always so clear. If you stepped in after her physical death and aided in childcare and had a good second mother relationship with them you would be seen as a wonderful savior.

The problem is and in the AD world will always remain exactly when is somebody; gone, dead, left, abandoned or made single by the disease. And THIS is what we and you seem to be struggling with. There is no one correct answer. If you and him and the kids and the old and new in-laws and the community at large can all agree in your hearts, that she is "gone" and exists only in a physical presence then perhaps everyone can accept you as the second relationship of a widower.

I didn't see how old the children were, but whether widowed or divorced, the relationship of a second mother is always difficult. Gaye no longer recognized him or other family members. Tami, a nurse, instantly felt compassion for Eric.

Commenters went nuts. Some even called for his arrest, alleging abuse. Though Gasby has told Smith about Lerner, he said that she seems to not understand what that means.

The fact that a caregiver often predeceases the one in care proves how hard it is. But, the reality is that their partner is basically there, just no longer the person they were. The fact that this particular man is caring wonderfully for his wife is the bottom line. Respite care enables him to charge the batteries to keep going. But, the antidote to that would be the evidence of how loving this man dating a married man whose wife has dementia is to his wife.

Obviously not flaunting it to anyone who might be uncomfortable seems fair - but they do not seem in that spirit at all. From what the above two experts say, there is no easy answer to Karen's question. Of course, there are people who strongly believe that marriage is forever, regardless of the situation. When I wrote about the Alzheimer's topic two years ago, I got taken to task by one of my newspaper readers, who said:.

Dating a married man whose wife has dementia [PUNIQRANDLINE-(au-dating-names.txt)